I was super duper prepared, new outfit (that she picked out in Target herself because its covered in tats! thats cats for those of you not fluent in toddler)- check, new sneakers- check, awesome new stainless steel bento box for yummy lunches- check, monogrammed pink seer sucker back pack- check and of course our favorite Stella doll washed and pretty- check. But even with all that the what ifs still were there. The first day was excited and terrifying - what if she was scared? confused? hungry? cold? what if another kid hurt her? what if she hurt another kid? Deeeeeeep breath.
I love her teachers and trust that they will comfort and cuddle my scared confused girl, feed her, put a sweater on her and guide her socially with love and patience. I repeated this to myself through tears as a drove away. Drop off was HARD, she cried and death gripped my neck as much as I wanted to stay, the teacher in me knows its like a band-aid, just rip it off and go Mom. The longer Mom stays the more the child cries and the harder it is on everyone. So with a smile and "I love you sooooo much" I walked out. Then I got to the car and cried like a baby.
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| this is what I got when I tried to get her to wear the backpack - classic |
I pulled myself together and went to yoga, cleaned a bit and worked on my birth class certification stuff. I felt productive and peaceful. I think this will be good for my mental state ;) But you bet I was at those doors 10 minutes early waiting with open arms to grab C and get her home. Her teachers said she had a great day, loved the play ground and danced during music time. Im sure one day the drop offs will be easier and maybe one day she wont even want to hug and kiss me by, and when that day comes Ill come read this post and remember my tiny sweet girl and her first days of school. <3
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| sweet exhausted pre-nap snuggles <3 |
xoxo
Ashlea
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